Friday, March 12, 2010

Condoms - Aisle 1

It wasn’t quite that bad…but almost. I don’t know the last time I bought condoms. Seriously, can’t remember. But, I’m a safety girl and sex would be good, so off to buy condoms I go…and gum. Why? I did need gum and, for whatever reason, only buying condoms and nothing else seemed more uncomfortable.

First, the condoms – there are A LOT of choices…geesh. So there I stand, staring with a package of gum in my hand and the CVS guy walking by me saying hello. I pick some…I walk to the line for the checkout and notice there’s self checkout!

PERFECT! I can check myself out…first the condoms, then the gum. Now they are both sitting on the bag shelf, but not in a bag because I don’t want to pay 5 cents, I have my own bag…as any good shopper should. Then I remember, I have a $2 coupon! Now, normally one would not worry about the coupon in a potentially uncomfortable situation…but these CVS coupons are killer. You always forget you have them and this one didn’t even have a minimum purchase! So, I scan it…and it doesn’t work. I try again. It doesn’t work. So, I say to the guy behind the cashier, who is helping a customer, “Does this thing take coupons?” It does. I try again, it doesn’t work. So, I figure forget it and I finish paying, complete with getting cash back, and putting my items in my bag.

And, then, the CVS cashier is nice. It can’t be. A nice cashier…now?! Of all times? And, he says, “Did the coupon work?” And, I say “no.” Mistake. The next thing I know, I’m putting my bag on the counter, condoms under the gum, handing the cashier my credit card, my cvs card, my coupon, and my receipt. After calling a manager over twice – no, really, twice – he returns the original order and repurchases it. To his credit, he looked surprised when he lifted up the gum and found the condoms.

I did get my $2…so, that’s something. Next time. Self check out. No coupons. And, God help me, I better open that box up soon.

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