Friday, March 19, 2010

We Will Get To The Talking

Tech and I haven’t had a chance to sit down and talk yet. We will get the chance/make the chance. We could have talked some by now at least on the phone but, he’s had some difficulties and decisions to make lately that have not been easy for him. And as they were definitely of a time sensitive nature, they and his dealing with the results are the priority now.

He has, however, told me that we will talk. I believe him. And I’m not likely to let it go unaddressed for a really significant amount of time.

This is, however, an aspect of polyamory that has to be addressed from time to time. When needs conflict amongst those involved in relationships, when everyone can not get what they need at the same time (like having to postpone our talk), one person or one relationship may have to “wait in line” for lack of a better term that I can’t come up with this late at night. When this happens, it’s important for those involved to be understanding.

I had an incident of this understanding this this week with Gator. He and I went out on a date for St. Patrick’s Day. Normally, dates are for giving who you are with your full attention. (Well, in my opinion and Gator and I generally abide by that. We started that long before meeting Tech and Kitten.) However, due to the difficulties I mentioned for Tech above, both Gator and I were concerned about him. Therefore, I texted some with Tech while on my date with Gator. Some at his urging. Tech is his best friend and he wanted to check on him and he knows I was a bit worried and that it may be good for Tech to hear from me.

Poly has compromise involved and you must be willing to do that to be successful.

Though my need to settle some issues with Tech is as important as anything else, it isn’t as critical as him dealing with this. They were things that had to be dealt with immediately. It’s been stressful on several levels and emotional. He strongly believes certain things and the decision made goes against some of those things.

My men both gave in some way this week. Gator with not having my undivided attention and Tech with the compromise he made. Though it was extremely difficult, Tech did this because he loves Kitten so much. I see that and Gator sees that.

[Via http://ourquad.wordpress.com]

No comments:

Post a Comment