Dear world,
Today I have to go to therapy. Do you know what that means? An hour of pure torture, and pretending that everything is rainbows and butterflies. I would rather talk about anal sex with my father than go to this therapy session, does that not say anything to you?
I’m a ninja. Be warned.
Thank you.
Date: Sunday, March 22, 2010
Time: Morning
Okay, I know what you’re thinking, what am I still doing talking to Old Greg? Didn’t I say that I would drop kick him in the mangina when I saw him?
Well, I didn’t do that. When we talked to meet up, Old Greg invited me to go to a church because he’d been hired to play the piano. Now Old Greg is not a Christian, so him going to church was a very strange thing, but I agreed to go since I’m a church going gal. And plus, I wanted my stuff back.
So when I saw Old Greg, we met on the subway car. When I saw Old Greg, he had a heinous hair-do, and I thought to myself, “THANK JESUS THAT HE LOOKS SO UNATTRACTIVE!!!!” Conveniently, Old Greg left my stuff at his apartment. He said we could make plans again so that I could get it back. I wonder if he still likes me. For my part, I have to sadly admit that the old familiar feelings of love began springing their way through despite my aversion to his horrible personality and his heinous new do. I couldn’t be mad. I couldn’t hate him. I couldn’t slap him in the face or kick him in the hot spot. I had forgiven him already, and there was no anger left in me. We hugged briefly, and he was wearing the cologne that I had bought him for Christmas. I chose that cologne because it turned me on. So, I lost my nerve to slap him in his face, and instead, we sat down together, listened to music, and he was doing all the talking- talking about the band we were listening to- nothing deep or personal, as I sat silently wondering if he still felt that lovin’ feelin’ or if it was gone, gone, gone, whoa-whoa-whoa.
I wanted to kiss his lips and hold his hand, but I did not. At one point, though, I took his arm and rested my head against his shoulder. He didn’t seem to mind it, but he didn’t seem to encourage anything either. And then, I woke myself up, and told myself that this relationship was doomed to fail. I withdrew my hand and my head so that we were not touching at all. And we just listened to music as we went to the church.
We were a bit early, so we got breakfast, then we went to the church, and he had to practice, so I sat down in a pew the fifth row from the front, so I wouldn’t be too close or too far from him. I stayed there the whole time, and he stayed up front until the service was over. When it ended, we walked down for a few minutes. I asked him how his dating life was going, and he told me about the new girl he’s seeing. She’s taller than me, skinnier than me, and she’s an atheist, which is apparently better than being a Christian, and he’s really into her.
He’s trying to make me jealous because he’s manipulative like that, but I was wise to his game. I cheerfully told him that I was glad that he was happy and seeing other people, while secretly, I was dying inside. We walked around the outside of the church, and then I had a moment of retardation. I admitted that I missed him a lot and I asked if I could hold his hand. So we walked around and held hands. I didn’t tell him that I had another date scheduled for the day, but I did tell him I was dating again, so I had my moment of manipulation of comparing him to this other guy (most of my comparisons were lies, but I’ll never tell).
Then Old Greg asked me what would I do if he kissed me. And I very excitedly and stupidly answered that I would kiss him back. So we kissed. He kissed me on the lips, then I kissed him on the lips- not passionately, but there were still sparks there for me. I like kissing him, even though he’s a huge douche who has hurt me so many times. Something is terribly wrong with me. I am terribly stupid. And I know it, and yet, I’m torturing and tormenting myself. So after those two kisses, he had to play for the second church service, and I had to go on my date which I scheduled conveniently a half hour before the second service would begin so I wouldn’t spend the day with Old Greg. And so we pecked a kiss on the lips goodbye, and I told him that I still want my things back.
Dates to go: 97
Outcome: Truth Sherwood is through with relationships, but she will continue the dating challenge, knowing that there is no such thing as Prince Charming or Mr. Right.
Tech and I haven’t had a chance to sit down and talk yet. We will get the chance/make the chance. We could have talked some by now at least on the phone but, he’s had some difficulties and decisions to make lately that have not been easy for him. And as they were definitely of a time sensitive nature, they and his dealing with the results are the priority now.
He has, however, told me that we will talk. I believe him. And I’m not likely to let it go unaddressed for a really significant amount of time.
This is, however, an aspect of polyamory that has to be addressed from time to time. When needs conflict amongst those involved in relationships, when everyone can not get what they need at the same time (like having to postpone our talk), one person or one relationship may have to “wait in line” for lack of a better term that I can’t come up with this late at night. When this happens, it’s important for those involved to be understanding.
I had an incident of this understanding this this week with Gator. He and I went out on a date for St. Patrick’s Day. Normally, dates are for giving who you are with your full attention. (Well, in my opinion and Gator and I generally abide by that. We started that long before meeting Tech and Kitten.) However, due to the difficulties I mentioned for Tech above, both Gator and I were concerned about him. Therefore, I texted some with Tech while on my date with Gator. Some at his urging. Tech is his best friend and he wanted to check on him and he knows I was a bit worried and that it may be good for Tech to hear from me.
Poly has compromise involved and you must be willing to do that to be successful.
Though my need to settle some issues with Tech is as important as anything else, it isn’t as critical as him dealing with this. They were things that had to be dealt with immediately. It’s been stressful on several levels and emotional. He strongly believes certain things and the decision made goes against some of those things.
My men both gave in some way this week. Gator with not having my undivided attention and Tech with the compromise he made. Though it was extremely difficult, Tech did this because he loves Kitten so much. I see that and Gator sees that.
I FINALLY have a date this evening with my current man. I am so excited. Sometimes our schedules require the coordination of a shuttle launch. The past two weeks have been particularly troublesome. In the end, even the best plans can be thwarted by real life, family and work obligations.
I am not sure how many of my readers are familiar with what NYC is like on St. Patrick’s day. I am trying to figure out where to go out to dinner where I will experience the LEAST amount of beer soaked, sweaty tourists. Most likely, I’ll be downtown this evening, but I am still open to suggestions.
In preparation for my date, I thought I would share what I include in my “bag o’ tricks” (aka – my oversized designer handbag). Because you’re cheating, any date preparation needs to be very discreet. The best thing to do is to start a pattern of behaviour that is consistent and doesn’t raise eyebrows at home. Ladies – grooming is a must. An impromptu denuding of your girl parts will definitely raise a red flag. So start booking monthly waxing appointments. If on a regular schedule, your husband will be less likely to question your motives.
Next item of business – bag o’ tricks contents. This is a list of what I keep in my bag in preparation for an evening of fun:
Here are optional items if your particular situation requires it:
Now for the men, you’re not off the hook. Make sure you tidy up your nether regions, but not so much that your wife notices. You also need to bring:
For reference, the next posting’s topic will be “Types of Cheaters – Which one are you?” That’s about it for now as I need to prepare for my date….
You had me at Detective James Ford! Whoo hoo! 
Oh my, do I love Sawyer … and hot cops … and putting Sawyer shirtless and flashing a detective badge nearly had me on the floor. I had fallen asleep (on accident, what the hell!) around 8:50 pm and got woken up when my husband came home at 9:15 pm. I was dead asleep, but the first thing out of my mouth after seeing Sawyer as a cop was “Sawyer’s hotness went up 100%.” Mmmm, hmmm, ladies, am I right, or am I right? Finally, LOST got it right tonight, because we all love a Sawyer episode … but a sideways flash of Sawyer as a hot detective? LOST, you done real good tonight!
Ok, Sawyer is doing the pigeon drop, a supposed con on some random woman in a hotel room, off island, but image my surprise when he utters the code name LaFleur and Miles and the rest of the cops barge in to save this male hot mess’s life. I just can’t stop thinking about that badge on his shirtless chest, so I made a little photo collage to forever remind me of that moment, since apparently LOST is foolish enough not to release that particular image.
Tonight, we see Miles and Sawyer working together off island as LA Detectives. Miles sets Sawyer up on a date with his friend Charlotte, who cleans up quite nicely and is saucy as hell dropping lines like “I’m exactly like Indiana Jones” and hinting about her whip.
Those two fell into bed faster than any other couple in tv history. Even the hubby remarked “Boy, that’s a lot of action for a first date” and I had to snap back a quick “It’s Sawyer, honey!” I’m no whore, but if I met the real tv Sawyer, I’d become one.
Mmmm, hmmm, that actress had to been so happy to have the best reappearance of any dead former castmember this season. Too bad she had to go and screw it up and riffle through his drawers looking for a case file and stumbling across his dead parents photo. Sawyer being Sawyer freaked out when the man behind the curtain was exposed and through Charlotte’s butt into the street. When he rethought the matter, he showed up with yet another flower and beer, but she turned him down, like a fool. Would you have?
Everyone else has done what they were supposed to off-island, but what do you all think about what Sawyer accomplished? He opened up on-island, and Juliet blew up. He tried to open up to Charlotte, and she blew him off. It wasn’t clear to me that he was exactly a good guy off-island, because he let Kate go at the airport, being a cop and all, and is still planning on murdering Mr. Sawyer. So, is that saying on-island he needs to stay a bad boy? I hope so.
Sure, John Locke admitted tonight “I’m the smoke thing,” and that his mother was crazy and so was Claire, but the best moment he had tonight was when he bitched slapped Claire hard across the face after she tried to kill Kate.
Even though John was a little creepy trying to open up, this episode was all about Sawyer, and that is exactly the way I like it. He was on to the Liz Lemon look-alike Zoe pretty quick, and of course she ended up working for Charles Widmore who has finally made it to The Island on his (not really) yellow submarine.
Sawyer decides to play Smokey John Locke and Widmore against one another and promised Kate that they will be snatching that sub and getting the hell off that island together. Hell, yes! So, it looks to me like Kate and Sawyer will end up together. I hope this really happens because I can’t stand Jack, alone, but especially Kate. Kate and Sawyer, despite being jaded and broken, somehow bring out the best in one another, despite their flaws.
On a side note, I love that Sawyer called Mr. Widmore “chief” and was watching Little House on the Praire and took Pa’s lesson to Half-Pint to heart, and was so affected he made his move on Charlotte, only to get shot down. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy my tv star boyfriend who seems to love pop culture as much as I do!
At our traditional sunday girls’ nite last night, we were talking about our new candidates… The fun part is that we all have a new possibility in our lives at the same time!!
As I we were wondering how it would be like with our new men, we came up with the idea of throwing a party at my new place!!
That means that I have to tidy up not only my flat but also my garden in 2 weeks!
The “trigger” once again is in place. Trigger to throw a fab party and to work out for the next 2 weeks!
Well, we ofcourse hope that the objects of our affection will show to the party! Right now the guest list has approx 40 people in it!!! I’m hoping that not all will show up!
I ofcourse invited the ex (mama’s boy), the lova boy aaaaand “him”. There has to be some kind of competition among men don’t you think?
the game is on ladies and gentlemen!
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A simple photograph that has received more comments than any I’ve taken…
Proving that deep down, people still believe in love!
All Photos © Matt Weber
It wasn’t quite that bad…but almost. I don’t know the last time I bought condoms. Seriously, can’t remember. But, I’m a safety girl and sex would be good, so off to buy condoms I go…and gum. Why? I did need gum and, for whatever reason, only buying condoms and nothing else seemed more uncomfortable.
First, the condoms – there are A LOT of choices…geesh. So there I stand, staring with a package of gum in my hand and the CVS guy walking by me saying hello. I pick some…I walk to the line for the checkout and notice there’s self checkout!
PERFECT! I can check myself out…first the condoms, then the gum. Now they are both sitting on the bag shelf, but not in a bag because I don’t want to pay 5 cents, I have my own bag…as any good shopper should. Then I remember, I have a $2 coupon! Now, normally one would not worry about the coupon in a potentially uncomfortable situation…but these CVS coupons are killer. You always forget you have them and this one didn’t even have a minimum purchase! So, I scan it…and it doesn’t work. I try again. It doesn’t work. So, I say to the guy behind the cashier, who is helping a customer, “Does this thing take coupons?” It does. I try again, it doesn’t work. So, I figure forget it and I finish paying, complete with getting cash back, and putting my items in my bag.
And, then, the CVS cashier is nice. It can’t be. A nice cashier…now?! Of all times? And, he says, “Did the coupon work?” And, I say “no.” Mistake. The next thing I know, I’m putting my bag on the counter, condoms under the gum, handing the cashier my credit card, my cvs card, my coupon, and my receipt. After calling a manager over twice – no, really, twice – he returns the original order and repurchases it. To his credit, he looked surprised when he lifted up the gum and found the condoms.
I did get my $2…so, that’s something. Next time. Self check out. No coupons. And, God help me, I better open that box up soon.
I am not a fan of the politically correct, do-gooder, outcrying, NIMBY type of parents who tend to think the government, telly, schools, big corporations and other institutions should raise their kids for them. However, this is not a post about them. This is a post about the group of
parents (Mumsnet) who have appealed for highly sexual materials to be “watershedded”. This new outcry is not regarding the usual, “in your face” sexual content but the sneakier ones… You know the hip-hop/RnB/pop/girl’s band music videos? More specifically the one where the nearly anorexic size 8 girls are wearing next to nothing? Even when it is not a macho hip hop/RnB music video where the highly muscled gun-totting so-called gangsta is smacking his biatches around, the girls have to have the most sexual, forget suggestive as subtlety has now disappeared, dance routines and outfits. The problem is, these videos are actually on all the time, you don’t even need to have a music channel. All you need to do is switch on to a non-music national freeview channel in the morning and there you have it.
I do not usually agree with parents trying to get the government or the institution of the moment to do their jobs for them, but it must be hard for a mum trying to induce some body confidence and a sense of self-worth into her teenage daughter. It must be even harder nowadays where we (women) are given such a high (unachievable) standard of beauty to measure to. The effects of the over sexualisation of women is pretty obvious: you only need to walk down a shopping centre on a Saturday afternoon and you’ll see what I mean. The girls whose thongs are showing out of their tight jeans, whose padded bright pink bras are visible through their low cut white t-shirt, whose hairs are highlighted blonde, straightened to death… Don’t be fooled, a lot of them are only 12. I am a huge advocate that a woman that has everything on display has a low self-esteem. The fact that you are flaunting everything all at once in one-go would usually betray that you sense you have nothing better to offer or nothing else worth noticing. I am talking about women… What drives a 12 year old to already think like that? If you want respect, start by respecting yourself: put some clothes on.
Click here to read the original article.
Click here to see a video of Justine Roberts, founder of Mumsnet.
Direct link to the Mumsnet campaign.
S is for sex: “Love it, love it, love it—can’t live without it!” Saldana exults. “I love sex. I love skin. I don’t believe the body is something to hide. I think in American society we’re messing up our kids by taking away the education on and awareness of our sexuality and replacing it with violence, guns and video games—and we’re breeding little criminals.”
B is for boyfriend: When it comes to intimate relationships, Saldana, who currently lives with her longtime boyfriend, Keith Britton, likes to be knocked off her feet. “I’m more of a punch-drunk-love kind of girl,” she admits. “I mean punch as in that pow, that jolt, that kick in the gut. I like things that are severe, passionate and extreme.”
www.mrlocario.com
Bind her up,
Tie her down.
Take away her freedom.
Take away her choice.
Rip away her shield,
Leave her unprotected.
Ignore her cries for help
Ignore her pleas to stop.
Break her heart,
Break her trust.
She’ll never look at you the same now.
She’ll never love you like she could of,
You’ve broken something special
That can never be repaired.
Strip away her feelings
And indulge her in your want.
“shhhh” you coo as you muffle her cries
wiping away the tears
you taste them on your tongue.
This doesn’t stop the feelings from build own below.
She struggles
She cries
She begs you to stop.
The tears flow freely,
Bringing a smile into your eyes.
You are in control,
She is under you command
She is yours.
This is what you do to you property.
You act upon your want,
You act upon your desire.
You scar her for life
As you take what is yours.
Her smile
Her laugh,
The love in her eyes,
Her innocence,
Is yours.
You will never see her smile again,
Hear true laughs escape her lips,
Or see the love shining in her eyes
As she says she loves you.
You have spoilt her wedding day,
With a blush upon her face,
She may never get married now,
Or trust another male.
This all because of you,
And your actions here tonight.
The gleam of love was once in your eyes,
Has disappeared.
All that’s left is lust and want,
And anger in your eyes.
“please” she begs, her voice breaking,
tears running from her eyes.
“no” she whispers wanting to be free.
“shhhhhh” you coo again, as you look within her eyes.
She is scared,
She is broken,
She is yours.
With a final smirk you whisper to her
“this will only hurt for a moment”
You rip her to shreds,
You take away her pride and joy,
You steal her innocents.
You hear her scream but do not stop
This is your pleasure now.
You feel the blood upon you now
As you bleed her dry,
But take it as another sign.
That her screams are not of pain
Or of a broken heart.
Her screams encourage you,
Faster,
Hard,
Deeper,
Longer,
More.
You only see the pleasure,
You cannot see the pain you inflict,
Upon the girl you love.
Your indulge in all your wants,
And become one of instinct.
Again and again,
You scar her,
As you enter this deed again,
Taking all the pleasure you can,
And leaving her screaming on the bed.
Minutes crawl by for her,
Seeming like hours and days,
But for you it’s not long enough,
Only seconds for this it seems.
Sooner then you thought it would,
You finish with a smile.
Panting hard and breathing fast,
You lay down next to her.
Wrap your arms around her waist
and pull her closer still.
You can feel her body shake,
As she sobs from joy.
Is it joy that she is sobbing from,
Or the fact you stole her joy?
Still you hold her close,
And start to fall asleep.
She is trapped within your arms
As you whisper your goodnight.
“shhhhh my love” you mutter, as you fall asleep,
“I’ve finally shown you how I love you”
and with that the world escapes.
That night you’ll dream of your actions,
And of your darkest deeds.
But her pain with be replaces with pleasure,
And her screams replaced with moans.
And when she told you she hates you,
Will be replaced with
“I love you”
when you awaken the next day,
and find her still besides you,
you’ll do it all again to her,
in a hopes she’ll one day love it.
the poor young woman, lying in your arms.
She dead inside you know?
No one else will see it,
No one else will know.
But you won’t see it either,
As you take her once again.
You will only see your joy
As it finally comes to the end.
One day you’ll arrive
And try to find her face
But she’ll have disappeared
Never to appear again.
She has become strong enough
And tricked you to believe
That she loves you,
That you can trust her,
But now she’s run away.
So now you’re all alone
Because of your mistake
You’ve lost the one you love.
Will you try and get her back,
And make her run some more.
Will you move on and try to scar another?
Do you know in years to come you’ll see her on the street.
She will be laughing and smiling
And being with her friends.
Her eyes will shine with a light,
That you once took away.
She laugh will ring like true tone bells
Not the broken ones you made.
She will be close to friends,
And truly having fun.
Something you haven’t seen
For before you stole it away.
Those scars will still be there,
Hidden deep inside
But she will no longer be afraid,
That she will not be loved.
She will finally be free
From what you did to her.
How will this make you feel?
Will you be happy, that you have seen her once again
Will you be angry, that she ran away back then.
Will you be filled, with the desire you once had,
Or will you simply walk away, and forget about what you did see?
But when you lay asleep at night,
Her face will haunt your mind.
No longer will your dreams be filled,
With her eyes crying as she screams.
Tonight you’ll see the smiling girl,
That you once did love.
Tonight within your dreams,
You still see her laugh,
And smile up at you,
But now you know,
That was very true.
You have seen her smile,
That was true to the heart,
Do you know now,
That you broke it apart?
Will you leave her be,
And let her grow,
And one day she be,
And have someone to show.
All the scars,
She hide away,
All the lies,
She told you that day.
She will tell,
Her love that’s true,
And from then on,
Forget about you.
Shhhhhh
Its over,
Shhhhh!
God, apparently as a prank, devised two sexes and called them “opposite.”
The sex war has raged since for 5,000 years. But it’s time we called a truce… starting with men negotiating their terms of surrender.
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. Just look at the evidence. What excites men? Food, footy and the Playboy channel. The trouble is, women get all excited about nothing… and then we marry him.
Over half of all marriages today end in divorce, (and let’s face it, more ought to!) and the majority of these divorces are initiated by women.
(Obviously many marriages break up for religious reasons – he thinks he’s a God and well, she just doesn’t.) Marriage statistics are currently lower than Britney Spears’s bikini line.
And as we now know that marriage suits men much better than it suits women, (married men live longer than single men, have less heart disease and mental problems, whereas single women live longer than married women and have less heart disease and mental problems), I suspect that it’s women who are getting PMT. – Pre Monogamy Tension.
I miss hickies like I miss coming home from school eating a mars bar (not worrying about the extra layer of fat that would indefinitely reside under my chin) and turning on pinky and the brain. Im going out tonight I shall make it my mission to return home with a man in my bag and a hickie upon my neck.
Everyday that passes it seems like my mind is more and more at ease. Even though it always seems like I have a huge monkey on my back and I will have it on my back for a long time, maybe even for life. It is always good to hear my wife say she loves me. I never new how that would feel, to me early on in our marriage it was annoying, and it felt like just another I love you rant. Now it feels special, it feels deep, those simple words mean so much to me. I have a new born son, oh my, he is my life, this boy means so much to me. I think of the stupid incident of wanting to hurt myself over and over, then I think about this innocent boy who would not have a father right now, if I would have left this world. I beat myself down over and over, I look at the scar on my arm almost daily, every time I look at it I shake my head, like I tell myself over and over I am so stupid. I think about the time when I was in the hospital basically locked up, hearing people scream at night being put in a straight jacket, I remember when they took someone out in a straight jacket, I thought I would never been in a place like this. What was I thinking, I remember that day like yesterday, I was so scared, I was so ashamed, I was so hurt, I was so sick of my life, I was so much into just wanting to die. I hated my life. I hated that I had no control, God only new my self. He only new how much I could not stand my life. I wanted to be a great husband, not this animal that just ruined my wife, my life, my son, my family, my job, her family, her friends, my friends, it was all crashing down.
Again I think of what my wife said to me, I LOVE YOU, she has no idea what that means to me. Often I think I am worthless, but those words mean so much to me, I know my struggle is often more worth it then what anybody else could image, yet it is still hard to escape what I have done. My new life as I put it is so much better, no more lies, no more hiding, it feels complete. I feel like everyday I am accomplishing something new. I love my wife, she is the best person any man could dream of, she did not give up on me and I know she LOVES ME!
Opinion may be split on whether the G-Spot actually exists. But thanks to koldcast.tv (and a bunch of other people), we still have plenty of freaky sexual statistics to keep us entertained. ’Cos the only thing more interesting than a bunch of statistics is a bunch of statistics relating to your nether regions!
First up faking it. According to research, 67% of women do it. Yeah, yeah – so what, you say? We’ve all had a couple of rolls in the sack less fulfilling than a Ginster’s pastie. But how about the shocking fact that, in a survey of 1000 people, 70.8% of women could correctly identify the location of the clitoris on a map of the vulva, compared to 75.2% of men.
What the hell, ladies?! Men are beating us with own privates! (not literally, thank god.)
Time to get that hand mirror out…
Thanks Geekologie!
1. SEDUCTION: Thinking about what turns you on will revive the sexy feelings and the passion. Seduce your own mind and then seduce your partner using Secret 2
2. SENSATIONS: Tune in to your erotic six senses. Use eye contact, deliberate touches: smell and taste each other; tease each other, let the electricity between you build.
3. SURRENDER: Amazing sex begins in the mind. Follow the first two secrets, and you will feel relaxed enough to let the feelings overtake you and enjoy your sexual experience.
4. REFLECTION: An enjoyable wexual experience will make you go back for more, and this will feed right back to Secret 1. Reflection also opens the door to communication, if you want to suggest a change or new idea to your partner
SOURCE:Tanalee Smith.Nature&Health
I do believe there is such a thing as a sexual ‘tendancy’, because sexual ‘preference’ sounds too much as if you can make a man stop being gay – and even though I would love it if 100% of the population is really bisexual, from my observations I know this isn’t so – apart from that: to say that everyone is bisexual actually insults the bisexuals, because it’s simply another lousy way people made up in order to not having to necassarily talk about bisexuality and quickly wave it away as some form of neutral or default and uninteresting sexuality.
Happy Friday, all! You successfully made it to the end of the week so give yourselves a round of applause. Wow. I totally just wanted to break out and start singing that Rihanna song, Take a bow. Glad that moment past me by…now back to my usual ranting and raving.
It's always a case of boys vs. girls. Blah, blah, blah!
Do you know what really bothers me? When a mother tells her daughter she can’t or shouldn’t do something because she’s a girl. What? What planet are we from that makes us so different from men. Now, don’t get me wrong. Even if SOME people (not I) think they’re all are smarter, faster, better and stronger…they should definitely be responsible for their actions. We women tend to pooh-pah what they do and let them make mistake after mistake. Unacceptable!
Oh, and fellas…learn to make up your minds about relationships. Don’t sit there looking like you don’t know what I mean. You most definitely do.
Have a great weekend,
–LadyOshKosh
By Georgina Littlejohn
Last updated at 11:08 PM on 25th February 2010
Alice in Wonderland World Royale Premier in London.
Maybe it’s just her natural complexion or she wanted to bring an element of her character to tonight’s proceedings.
Whatever the reason, Anne Hathaway decided on a pale and interesting look as she attended the Royal World Premiere of Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland in London tonight.
The actress, who plays The White Queen in the new 3D movie, looked stunning in a brown sparkly dress, which showed off her white skin beautifully.
Pale and beautiful: Anne Hathaway showed off a very fair complexion at the premiere of Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland in which she plays the White Queen
Despite her strapless Vivienne Westwood dress, she braved the cold and wet weather, which is pretty much guaranteed whenever there’s a red carpet event in London at this time of the year.
But she didn’t seem to mind and said: ‘I love London, I love the rain!’
And the precipitation was certainly not going to stop the stars of the film attending the premiere of the acclaimed director’s new celluloid offering.
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Everyone has secrets, right? But what’s the point in having a secret if you want somebody else to know? Here are some secrets and some not-so-secrets about guys and girls that everyone should know. A lot of these you’ve probably seen before, but maybe not all of them.
Secrets Girls Want Guys To Know1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn’t count.
2. Real men drive stick shift.
3. I will leave if you lie.
4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
5. I’m convinced I’m pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
6.I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it’s about you.
9. I’m terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
11. I expect you to call me.
12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
13. I’m scared of losing my independence.
14. I’m more forgiving of you than I really should be.
15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I’m not. (See directly above.)
17. If I’m not having sex with you, I’m: a). having a fat day. b). not feeling "connected" to you. c). blackmailing you to get something I want.
18. Shoes determine whether you’re fashionable or not.
19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I’m not afraid to use it.
20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we’re just going to the movies.
22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
23. You should never tell me what to do.
24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.
25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
27. I’m very impressed when you ask for my advice.
28. I’m unimpressed with a man who doesn’t take the lead.
29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
30. I want to be Madonna.
31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.
32. I’m in heaven when you hold my hand.
33. You’re sexy when you’re shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you–and for you to recognize this.
37. If I’m not feeling loved, I will start looking….
38. Discussion of ex-gf’s and ex-bf’s should be avoided at all times.
39. I like it when you tell me what you’re thinking, even if you don’t know yourself.
40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it’s only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
41. I love it when you’re sweaty.
42. It’s best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
44. I like porn.
45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
47. It’s cheating as soon as you’re doing something with her that you wouldn’t want me to see, hear, read…
48. For the record: I’d rather you break up with me than cheat.
49. I remember everything about our relationship.
50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.
1. Guys hate sluts.
2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" – two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they’re gonna say so there aren’t awkward pauses, but once he’s on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
5. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.
8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.
10. Don’t talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
11. Guys get jealous easily.
12. Guys are more emotional than they’d like people to think.
13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh…never
mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
16. Girls are guys’ weaknesses.
17. Guys are very open about themselves.
18. It’s good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don’t let him wait too long.
19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.
21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
23. Guys will brag about anything.
24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.
25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t notice it can make the guy think about it for hours,.
26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys.
27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
29. A guy has to experience rejection, or he won’t be mature and grown up.
30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read.
33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he’s probably faking it.
35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
37. Guys don’t really have final decisions.
38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often.
39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you’re with your boyfriend, he’s probably jealous and likes you.
40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he’s definitely thinking something.
41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
42. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.
43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
44. Don’t be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
48. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.
49. No guy can handle all his problems by his own. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.
50. 99.5% of the time, we didn’t mean to hurt you
… or …
Why I Don’t Give A Rat’s Ass
So Tiger Woods has emerged from sex rehab, given a statement, than scurried off to rehab again. Suffice to say there is so much to be mined from this one event it’s almost difficult to know where to start.
But I’ll give it a shot.
Like more than a few people I avoided listening to the “statement”. It wasn’t news; it wasn’t saying anything we couldn’t predict with little or no effort. This was about another public figure who did something perceived as bad going through the motions of damage control.
In reality, all that really went down was as follows: as in the case of more celebrities than we can count, here we have a guy who got caught doing what MILLIONS have done or contemplate doing … in this case having a good time that didn’t involve his significant other.
In the time I’ve been alive I’ve known lots of lads and lasses – and obviously seen and read about many more – who have cheated … er … been unfaithful. Some got caught, some didn’t. Marriages broke up or stayed together. People stopped their cheating ways, or didn’t. (Notice a pattern? Here’s a clue, folks … if you are so inclined, odds are you will remain so inclined. It’s who you are.)
The real difference between all those millions of cheaters and this increasingly pathetic guy: he’s an accomplished sports figure, a celebrity billionaire known for being a fierce, focused competitor – and the advertised face/representative of several corporations who pay the guy for the opportunity to use his image to sell their products. And now he got caught doing the nasty with the wrong woman … er … women. And he’s paying a price. And so are his corporate sponsors.
And now everyone is in damage control mode, attempting to repair things.
And it is all an act.
And even if you don’t think so, that act is over time going to convince you he’ll change his ways and he will emerge a redeemed man.
You bet’cha!
Oh, I’m not necessarily saying the guy isn’t *cough* sincere *cough* in his effort to cure himself of his “sex addiction” – whatever the heck that is supposed to be – or suggesting that once things die down and he smoothes the waters he continues to pursue his extramarital endeavors a little wiser and much more discreet. Heck, for all we know his wife knew all along and kept a blind eye to things in the best tradition of “What happens in Vegas…” until she realized he was taking Vegas home with him on his cell phone (Note to all you cheetahs out there: keep the phone numbers of gal or guy friends you’ve been humping off you cell phone directory).
But it is an act.
Everything that has happened since the Missus chased him down with a golf club has been put up for our predictably eager, voyeuristic consumption. This is all a fabrication, insincere and vaguely stupid, mocking, even, of the consuming public – a silly dance our culture insists public figures do to satisfy an innate need for redemption in our eyes. And the media has been eating it up because it knows American people are essentially stupid fucks when it comes to satisfying a craving for wallowing in other people’s scandals. Not to mention hypocritical, but I think I bespeak the obvious in that regard.
Seriously.
All this has done is to underscore what a crazy, screwed up bunch of loons the American people have become. I mean, when folks were suggesting early on the man show up on Oprah to begin the repair of his life, doesn’t that scratch a speculative itch somewhere in the recesses of your consciousness? And if you thought that was a good idea, doesn’t that say something about you?
It sure does to me.
But this is not really about our obsession with celebrity, or our need to see these stupid dramas get played out in a public forum. And this is not about buying a product some twit gets to endorse because they are famous. Those things are window dressing, distractions.
What’s really happening is two things:
Sex.
And honesty.
So assuming he really does love his wife, here’s what el Tigre could never say, but could likely be closer to the truth:
“I love my wife. I really do. She is my best friend. We have two children we are raising who I want to be happier than I could ever be.
“I have done something terrible to my best friend. I lied to her. The lie was a lie of omission: I didn’t come clean when we married about who I am. If I have an excuse, like so many of you out there caught up in this same situation, I thought that marrying my best friend would change this aspect of me, but I soon realized that wasn’t going to happen.
“I am human. We all are. I slept and companioned with these women because I wanted to, because they excited me and because I was in a place where I needed something they could offer me … and because I could do it. And I would be lying to say I wouldn’t be tempted to do so again, and I would be lying to say I was certain I wouldn’t act on those temptations.
“I know this is difficult for any mature, loving couple to absorb, and we are working on this now, trying to figure how best to move forward, whether together or apart. I never loved my wife any less while this happened, never doubted that love. But I am who I am and to say – and behave – otherwise would be a lie.
“And I will not lie any more.”
“As for my fans, I apologize for projecting the image you bought into. I’m sure you are disappointed that behind that image lurked a real human being whose only real distinction to set him apart from you was an ability to swat a small ball with a club with a high degree of proficiency. Beyond that, thought, you have no right to any judgment regarding my personal life, any more than I have a right to judge yours. As long as I try as an athlete to compete honestly, to the best of my ability, you really have no room to complain, no place to project expectations of me: you have no more claim to my private life than I have to what happens in your bedrooms.
“If you think otherwise, you are mistaken. I would suggest you do what I am endeavoring to accomplish:
“Get a life.”
This William Shattneresque Saturday Night Live moment will never happen, of course, not only because el Tiger is not that brave, or because he doesn’t want to lose future endorsements once this mess sorts itself out, but because we don’t want to hear that kind of truth. We don’t like to talk about the fact that the real reason these things happen is we’re not just dishonest with the people we claim to love, but more important, we’re not honest with ourselves about who we really are.
And it seems to me that if you really love someone and know they love you, the absolute worst betrayal of that love is not being honest about who you really are.
To yourself.
Good morning world 
Back.
Home. (Italy home at least)
After hectic hours.
Happy.
Truly.
I had a blast in Los Angeles. I had a wonderful traveling, forth and back. You know, I love to travel along Karim.
He makes everything just so shining.
We love to chat, we love to lay in one another’s arms, we love to kid and basically make everybody around hate us cos, yep, we’re just so good looking together and we ooze sex out.
We don’t really make out in front of anybody, that’s not us; but it’s the lust we look at each other with that extrudes. All of our people tell us this. We someway know this.
It’s a point of pride, indeed (anyway, we joined again HighMileClub. But that was easier for we were traveling upper class. Bathrooms are just better. Nobody asks. Nobody bothers. We’re very clean. And I am sure those bathrooms have been adjusted cos years ago before this trend wasn’t up those baths were WAY less usable for that. Wonder why? Businness, baby. It drives the world ).
I wish we would have steyed a bit in New York… I miss that town. Gotta travel back there for fun purpose soon.
The traveling reaching LA was completely carefree and perfect.
We arrived on Friday evening and Mashudo was there waiting for us.
He said he had booked at Katsuya but we said we would have loved to check in our house, and he said we were two obnoxious individuals (lying, but saying that with a cute smirk that was so promising I was like “oh, how much I am gonna love the next few hours…”).
Also Calvin Klein thinks Threesomes are mainstream...
I wasn’t tired cos I can always sleep well on planes. I am like a switch on/off: I can sleep if I want to, I can stay awake if I want to. That’s helpful, let’s admit it.
We drove to Glendale Area (no way I am gonna reveal anything about where we live when in LA… Karim is gonna hate me if I do…) and this is a glimpse (the only one) you may get: I told you when we bought this what was making me and Karim love the house s that is actually a two house thing connected, with a lil “garden” in between.
Karim and I Los Angeles Home (my side)
People can’t figure it out, so I let you look: this is what you see from my lil enclosed patio and you can see Karim’s side of the property from the windows.
They are connected by an entrance, that can be closed OR not.
Makes it so sexy, cos we basically live together but at the same time we don’t. I know, I am crazy for these things. BUt it feels like so much US this way. We love having also in Italy two places to chose when we are together. Our spaces, but spaces we love to share.
It’s our way. It works amazingly (btw, my part of the house is clearly more stylish: his side is all about sculpting and painting. Sexy, but a chaos. a HUGE chaos.)
We step into house and Mashudo loved it. Nobody had seen this fully remade by the architects: we did only through webcamera because as works were progressing only Karim’s family checked it in person. We really loved it all.
I always dig the smell of the new furnishing in places. You know that peculiar taste of new stuff that stays in for weeks after you move in. Garden needs a work nor I nor Karim can provide. The gardeners were met the subsequent day. But by the time we entered the house none of us three cared cos you know… we had action planned.
OMG.
It was soooooooooooo fantastic.
We decided a new word had to be created for how amazingly that love game went.
Word is RADmageddon.
Oh, boy.
I can’t believe.
The best sex I ever had.
It was all a three play should be.
Clean, purely creative, effortlessly dynamic, full of roleplaying, and still determined in the final step. Cos in the end, it’s Karim that I love, isn’t he?
But really… I wish annybody could be that blessed as we are to being allowed to do that.
Wow.
Best Valentine gift ever in my life.
And even if it ay sound blasphemous, it TRULY was about TRUE love.
Mash said the tattoo is beautiful, by the way. He had a close encounter, of course, with it. In multiple occasions.
The akwardness of the first threesome among us wasn’t there at all this time. We were all at such ease.
It felt completely natural. Everybody knows that was just a game and nothing we should think of with any shame or regret. It was a bomb.
The loveliest thing for me was to actually see Mash leaving me quiet in Karim’s arms after it all was ended (and trust… it lasted A LOT. Mash isn’t bad in the tantra breathing either. It helps), with a tenderness in his face and then turning had to Karim, watching him being so calm and relaxed about it and slightly smiling at his friend’s direction. Karim was thankful, cos he got that was something that had made me so happy and satisfied he was fine with it as well.
As Mash went back to his place, and left us alone, Karim whsipered in my ears (thinkin I was asleep… but I weren’t):
“God save me from Hell for what I am thinkin, but this was an amazing experience. You can turn death into life, sin into a miracle bliss, and everything can become pure through you. And this was it. Unbelieveable… Unconceivable… but I feel like I own you even more now. Thank you. I love you…”
You’re discovering this now Special K.
That I was awake when you said this.
I love you.
I love you so much it’s unreal.
In fact that first sleeping night in LA has been perfection in full.
I didn’t even flip when I discovered the morning after through Michael Levine (Adam’s bro) tweet that if we weren’t arranging things with Mashudo we would have ended up meeting the Divine Creature that night.
They were in fact at Teddy’s (Teddy is perfect on Friday night: not so much on other night, but Friday indeed driving through Hollywood BLvd and reaching the Roosevelt is always a rewarding move. And as Karim’s family knows the heads of Roosevelt from a life, entering is never a problem for us…).
But really: who cared? Absolutely NOTHING coud have match what we had on Friday night.
NOTHING.
Merit
The morning of Saturday the work was crazy. Luckely the industry is very nearby our house, so it was not so much of an adventure to reach Merit (still, LA traffic is something you get accustomed to in a long shot of time… trust me).
It was a planning of three different meetings and all of them went just perfectly.
Again, I had to stand the usual speech that I face everytime people meet me for working meeting.
This is basically how it goes (always):
Step 1: they (generally the people I meet are 90% males, 75% over 40, 20% over 60) look at me, and no matter how strictly dressed and covered up I am , they paint all over their faces the “phew, a model chick to talk business of science. She must serve her chieves blowjobs to be here… let’s see how it can work” look.
Truth.
I can decode that from a mile.
95% of males are pigs. Which can be funny, but I don’t like when this messes work up.
Step 2: after ten minutes of meeting, the look on those faces start to be questioning the reason I am actually up in the meeting for. The look reveals that they are starting to realize I actually have a more than functioning brain. And this squanders regularly their simplistic assumptions in life (I love when this is reached up. I mean… how could I not? Males are just so easy creatures to interact with…)
Step 3: shockingly, they change tone of voice after the final admission the reason I am at those meeting isn’t that I blowjob my chieves (being my chief my father… that’d be monstrous…) nor that I am object of nepotism of any sort. Yep, shockingly enough, they all understand after these meetings end that OH MY!!!!! I am not even 25, I am looking like a model and yes… my best quality is actually that I have a functioning brain.
WHOOOOO!!!
That’s always a shock for them.
No… I mean.. truly.
*shakes head piting the usual malish way to look at life*.
I assume then that generally step number 4 in their way to think is that the combination of “look+wealth+brain” has to forcedly imply that I am a Ice Queen whose main interest is japanese gardening, cos then they could never hope that I actually can have LOTS of fun. Someway they have to avoid to think a whole package can exist, cos again their concepts of life could ruin then. And there the meetings generally end with them being suddenly so respecteful you see from their way to look and talk with me they are treating me like their sister or like Mother Theresa.
Generally I let them think so cos it’s easier (and this avoids me nasty gestures like those of the German partner I so hate, OttoThePrick, who thinks my hottness could like to mash with his trash look just because he’s rich… erm.. NO WAY.) and makes my working tasks quicker and less problematic.
best eating place in LA
But on Saturday Karim was ready to take me up for the lunching break and it was awesome to read again from all the partners faces that they had AGAIN to reprogram their vision of life and females after I glued onto him in a complete NO CHASTE way (we were in the parking area, we could do all, and we did.. it was a lovely kiss and it was a lovely touchy feel) and we swept away briefly to reach Pinkberry for eating.
When I got back for the second part of the day (the afternoon meetings) three of the four partners started to chat with me with the openly clear intention to see how much I could have fun in life.
Oh, Gawd.
Males.
World would be such a boring place without you guys (of course I declined all invitations and flirts. But you all know I LOVE to hold people in the palm of my hand. I just do. Can’t help…).
Adam and Angela together again on Saturday
Meeting ended at around 3 and 30 pm.
Karim went again picking me up cos we had to run to LAX again for leaving again.
Talk about hectic things.
And again, a missed chance.
“Too bad we don’t even have time to stroll a bit through Beverly Hills and buy something…”
Karim quipped.
Erm…
In fact, that’d have been such a glorious idea at a certain point.
Why?
Answer is in this collage.
Yep, that is.
Angela Bellotte again, the Ford Model girl that has done one of the Abercrombie&Fitch campaign that I loved the most and it’s so rare to see Adam so openly happy around, and with this girl it has happened already in August, in September and now, that it’s natural to guess the state of their bond at the moment.
They look ADORABLE together.
Adam actually tweeted that “I love today” before Angela was seen with him and actually at Teddy’s I don’t have reports that she was there yet (yes, I did ask Karim’s powerful contact there… but he said that of course he did not know ALL about Friday night, so he can’t assure me that).
Adam and Anne Vyalitsyna
In fact Adam is actually following on twitter Anne Vyalitsyna after the Sports Illustrated event , and these pics tell the meeting was not just a chat AND so the hook up on Valentine knowing him can surely having been done as well.
Nothing shocks us in the realm of his multiple task handling in the hunting field and still, the way these pics of him and Angela have hit my eyes directly paint great feelings to my acknowledge of lovey dovey dynamics.
Just the body language there is amazing.
And then there’s again the holding hands thing. Call me lightweight… but holding hands in itself is cuteness and tells about feelings often way more than a kiss.
Adam and Angela holding hands (aww)
I know well… cos I never liked hand in hand prior meeting Karim.
Can’t help.
I see them together so well.
I did immediately.
She just seems Adam’s type in full.
I get butterflies and feel so happy for him when I see them coupling.
Right, look those pictures and then know Adam tweeted again on Sunday, before asking above for a determined choice of weather (impling some strolling around? biking? taking her anywhere cute? Awww):
“holy shit im happy… now what?“
This tweeting explaines why he’s not on the mountains sharing snowboard fun with Jesse and the guys.
My Maroon5 are all Snowboard Kings
As a snowboarder, I was ready to bash him until I saw the reason for his giving up there.
And love conquers it all, doesn’t it?
So…
what can I say.
I love to imagine Adam happy and I want him being happy. Angela, make him so. I would really be grateful for that (it’s not ironic…I TRULY mean this. I still wanna f*** him but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to think of him in love, or that I cannot wishing him that. Adam’s joy is my joy).
Today I am home, weatehr is not that great but we are riding Swifty again (he feels better now, my baby) and enjoying cozyness in Italy.
I’m blessed, happy, and everything’s so fine.
And Frozen Pinkberry is one of the most tasty things in the whole world.
That is Los Angeles for me.
See you back soon, LA.
Love, Zaira.
from: http://www.irishcentral.com:
Mr. Big, Irish American actorChris Noth, had to undergo radical boot camp surgery to shed 20 pounds for his bedroom scenes in “Sex and the City 2.”
Producers told him a body double would be needed if he didn’t drop the weight quickly, according to the Daily Mail.
Noth went to a boot camp in Brazil for several weeks to lose the extra poundage — and succeeded just in time.
“Luckily Chris’s weight loss was sufficient and a stand-in wasn’t required,” says an insider.
“He did really well to lose it and is proud that his cheeks will now be seen by millions of ‘Sex and the City’ fans.”
Condoms that do not fit right could break and may reduce sexual pleasure for both partners, suggesting reasons why men and women often fail to use them, researchers reported.
The study has implications for countries trying to encourage people to use condoms to reduce the risk of AIDS, other sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy, the researchers reported in the journal Sexually Transmitted Infections.
“Men and their female sex partners may benefit from public health efforts designed to promote the improved fit of condoms,” Dr. Richard Crosby of the University of Kentucky and Dr. Bill Yarber of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction in Indiana wrote.
They surveyed 436 men aged 18 to 67 for their study.
Nearly half — 45 percent — said they had used a badly fitting condom during the previous three months.
These men were more than 2 times as likely to say the condom broke or slipped when they used it. They also often reported it was irritating to wear.
The men who wore poorly fitting condoms were twice as likely to say that using one reduced sexual pleasure for themselves and their partners.
The findings may make some people giggle, but the researchers said the implications were serious. Men will often not buy condoms sized “small” or even “medium,” they said.
“Moreover, the increased likelihood that men using ill-fitting condoms will remove condoms before sex ends constitutes another form of condom failure. Fortunately, it seems likely that these problems could be rectified through education programs,” the researchers wrote.
It’s TMI Thursday so time to talk about anal!
Sex is my favorite thing to do. Simply put, sex is my favorite:
1. Hobby;
2. Stress reliever;
3. Exercise; and
4. Way to celebrate.
Buckeyes Boy and I had an amazing sex life…until he returned to work. His hectic schedule was a downer in every sense of the word. After our recent talks in late October 2009, he had been making an effort to be more affectionate, though. And, that (thankfully) translated into a little more lovin’ for yours truly.
Around this time, I started to realize that when I dressed in lingerie, we wouldn’t have sex. Never. He would compliment me on how I looked, even asking to check out the ensemble from different angles. But, his stress, exhaustion and constant malaise always won out over his love of lingerie. If I was wearing glasses, sweats and no makeup, however, we might have sex. I enjoy lingerie irrespective of whether an outfit leads to sex, but it’s just fascinating to me how much our routine changed when he went back to work.
Usually, I would go to bed an hour or two before Buckeyes Boy. When we kissed goodnight, I’d say,
I’ll be in the bedroom if you want anal.
Sometimes he did. Sometimes he didn’t. Most times I would realize that we were going to be having sex when he kissed me more than once after he got into bed. (He’s lucky that I’m a light sleeper.)
On one occasion in early November, we both surprisingly got ready for bed at the same time, and Buckeyes Boy began making out with me while I was still at the vanity. We moved to the bed, and our clothes were on the floor in record time. As he went for the lube, he asked if I should take Nutter [my dog] off of the bed.
Me: Well, I’m going to be smart and put her in the living room. [A few friends with dogs suggested that I move Nutter out of our bedroom during sex because she might think that Buckeyes Boy and I are fighting, rather than making love. Nutter had never barked or moved from her crate when we were having sex before, but I’m sure that all the biting, slapping and spanking confused her.]
I quickly brought Nutter to the living room and went back to bed. Before he put the lube on and went inside my ass, I decided to give Buckeyes Boy a blow job. Of course, I’ve done that before, but I focused a lot more on the perineum (the sensitive area between the base of the cock and the ass).
I alternated between licking that area and flicking my tongue on that spot as I gave him a hand job with rubbing my finger on that spot as I put his cock or his balls in my mouth. Buckeyes Boy always enjoyed when I went down on him, but I could tell that he really appreciated how I mixed it up.
When he was as hard as I had ever seen him, I reached for the lube. We started having anal with me on top, facing him, and then flipped over. We finished off in our favorite position of late. I was on my back facing him with my butt on the edge of the bed. He was over me, off of the bed, and my leg was on his shoulder. (Yes, we are both very flexible.) That angle also allowed him to bite my legs as he was thrusting. (And, yes, our penchant for rough sex resulted in a lot of bruises on my calves and ankles to match the bruises on my arms and upper back.)
After he came and we were lying on top of each other, I noticed the oh-so-unpleasant aroma of shit in the air. (Unfortunately, as I mentioned in my Anal 3.0 post, that can happen with anal sex, but it’s never fun.) Buckeyes Boy and I both got up to go to the bathroom so I didn’t say anything. I hoped that he didn’t even smell what I smelled, but when I returned to the bedroom, I couldn’t deny it any longer.
Me: Uuuhhh…this room smells like ass!
Buckeyes Boy: It’s all that tostada pizza you’ve been eating. [I’m a huge fan of CPK’s Tostada Pizza, and since sex with Buckeyes Boy was no longer a daily occurrence, I was no longer eating light every night.]
We both start cracking up and simultaneously say,
That could be a blog post!
Me: I need to go get a candle.
I walked down the hall toward the living room and felt like the odor got progressively stronger. Why did my whole place smell like shit?
I turned on the light as I went to get a candle and Nutter and saw the reason why. My sweet little dog – who had never had an accident in the living room before – peed and pooped on my Oriental rug.
I picked her up from the couch and started laughing to myself.
Me: Guess who peed and shit on the carpet? [Buckeyes Boy looks at me with wide eyes.] So apparently, she’s pissed at you if I leave her in the bedroom when we have sex, but she’s pissed at me if I take her out.
Buckeyes Boy: That’s your girl.
I cleaned up the carpet, put a candle in the bedroom and since I didn’t have any Lysol, I sprayed Thierry Mugler’s Angel in the living room. It took a few hours for the smell to leave my bedroom, but it took days for the smell of Angel to be gone. (I guess I went a little overboard since at the time, I thought the perfume smelled better than Nutter’s poop.) I haven’t worn Angel since, but I guess it’s better than having my living room smell like crap.
Although women tend to make a bigger deal about Valentine’s Day than men, when it comes to money spent, they are only half as committed to the holiday as their masculine counterparts. Last year, on average, each American male spent over $150 dollars on his respective love interest. The average woman, on the other hand, dolled out only 85 bucks.
9. Condom Sales Are Highest on Valentine’s Day
According to condom giant Durex, prophylactic sales are about 25 percent higher than usual on Valentine’s Day. This interesting fact may help explain the statistics reported in fact ten. The reality is that men become awfully generous around February 14 and fact number nine seems to reveal why.
8. March and Pregnancy Tests go Hand in Hand
This interesting fact seems to follow naturally from number nine. Statistically, at-home pregnancy test sales reach their zenith in the month following Valentine’s Day as the consequences of all those romantic couplings are realized.
7. Florists Make A Killing Around Valentine’s Day
It may come as no surprise to learn that florists tend to jack up their prices around February 14. However, the actual dollar amounts are eye-popping. The cost of a dozen roses skyrockets as much as 30 percent around the romantic season reaching as high as $100 when individual stocks run low.
6. Millions Purchase Valentines for Their Pets
You may think the day of love is only for those in romantic relationships. However, single people need love too, and when a suitable human is not available, they turn to the next best thing. According to several surveys, as many as nine million people purchase Valentine’s Day presents for their pets each year.
5. Women Don’t Need Men on Valentine’s Day
If you’ve ever seen women comparing Valentine’s Day bouquets at the office, you know size does matter. However, as far as many women are concerned, anything is better than nothing. Surprisingly, as much as 15 percent of American women send themselves roses on February 14 to save face in front of their judging co-workers.
4. Romance is Only A Tiny Part Valentine’s Day
Although it may seem like the greeting card industry relies on the promise of sex for much of its sales, romantic encounters have nothing to do with the majority of their profits. Statistically, most Valentine money is spent on teachers, followed by children, moms and, finally, wives and girlfriends.
3. Women Prefer Cards to Flowers
When it comes to Valentines Day, women are relatively miserly compared to their free-spending husbands and boyfriends. However, they do appear to rank higher in sentimentality. Of the one billion valentines purchased every year, females are responsible for over 80 percent of all sales.
2. Flowers Are A Man’s Best Friend
While women prefer to express their romantic feelings through a carefully-selected greeting card, men seem to prefer the traditional means. Husbands and boyfriends buy over seventy percent of all the flowers bought on Valentine’s Day each year.
1. In Japan, Men Receive More Valentines
Just as mega-jeweler De Beers used clever marketing to cultivated the traditional presentation of a diamond as an engagement present in the U.S., Japanese companies have forged a similar campaign to encourage spending on Valentine’s Day. Except their marketing ploy is aimed at women. Thanks to a powerful campaign by the Japan’s chocolate industry, Japanese women are now traditionally expected to purchase chocolate for their men every Valentine’s Day.
