i broke it off with the pharmacist; the lawyer; the med student; the nurse practitioner. i can’t handle four relationships with only givng myself fifteen percent, at best, effort into each one of them.
and, as it would appear.. it’s impossible to develop feelings for people when you still have your mind wrapped around this one, beautiful woman who wants nothing to do with you.
i was trying to protect her. i told her minimal information because i didn’t want her to leave. but once she found everything out, she left anyway. i shouldn’t have said anything at all… and perhaps she’d still be in my life… holding my hand, looking up at me with anticipation, knowing that it really was going somewhere good.
i don’t know why she hates me so much. why she ignores me.. after everything we shared, talked about, and went through.
i would’ve made those painful, bittersweet efforts for as long as it took to find myself being the only one she loved.
i guess i’ll say goodbye to her as well… only hoping that she fnally finds the happiness and fulfillment from one person that she deserves.
i just can’t admit that i’m not shocked by her behavior.
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