Monday, January 25, 2010

Lesbian Porn

I visit YouPorn like everyone else. Don’t lie. You do too. Admit it. In fact, that’s one of the windows you have open. Well, don’t bother closing it now.

Lesbian Porn is a big snore. Sure you hear about all those straight guys with their ultimate sexual fantasies–fucking twins or being the meat in some lesbian sandwich. But how many straight guys get to live that fantasy? Does the lesbian porn fulfill any of their needs? Because it sure doesn’t fulfill any of my needs.

It just isn’t believable. No woman is going to get off while her vagina is being stabbed by 10 inch nails. I’d be afraid. One wrong move and your clit could be quivering on a blood soaked mattress. I’m sure there are some lesbians out there with the long, fake nails, but I don’t know any of them, and I most certainly wouldn’t invite one to my bed.  

It never looks like they are really enjoying it either. Their little skits leading up to the sex are lame at best, but once they get into the sex, I demand involvement. Not this timid, hardly licking of the genitalia. And then the woman on the receiving end starts moaning like it’s actually doing something. Meanwhile her vagina is about as moist as a stale crouton. Such bullshit. Get in there. Get dirty.

The women all have long hair, painted faces and shaved pussies. You won’t find any dykes or butches. I suppose that would scare away the male customers. They might not appreciate a woman who can grow a better goatee.

That’s why I watch heterosexual or gay porn. They’re actually doing something instead of pretending to do something. I can believe that they might be enjoying it, because they have the rhythm and the sound right. And they’re not afraid to get messy.

[Via http://tigerlilydust.wordpress.com]

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