There goes Victoria with her dictionnary games again… what the hell does “impaired satiety” mean?
Well, impaired means that something has been compromised; that it’s not working as it should.
And satiety means: n. The condition of being full or gratified beyond the point of satisfaction. So what is impaired satiety? It is when the body no longer knows when it has had enough. I came across the expression while studying books about eating disorders… in particular, bulimia nervosa… when people overeat regularly, they lose contact with the feeling of being satisfied or having had enough.
I know that feeling. I have been a compulsive eater off and on my whole life… my eating habits change according to the level of drama in my mind, and the drama increases exponentially according to how badly I eat! It’s a vicous cycle, whereas eating more gently and reasonably also have the subsequent effect of making me more gentle and reasonable… which would be what, an “unvicious cycle”? How about a “beneficent cycle” (found that on the Internet… not bad).
So. Beyond the eating disorder application, I immediately thought of pornography. Sometimes, I spend long lonely hours on the Internet, writing, blogging, answering emails, sending out new emails, researching this that and the other thing and just plain old reading news, blogs and other people’s stories. I don’t have a TV so it’s not only a place where I work, I also go there for entertainment, diversion and connection with far-away friends. I do not surf porn sites, I’d rather draw sex any day, but I must admit I often think of the people, particularly men, who do regularly watch porn, because although I’m not here to judge that, I find it extremely sad. Because real sex is so much better. Real people, real touch, real emotions. Pornography is just like fast food; cheap, exciting, sweet, salty, greasy and easy. Immediately satisifying, but it just brings you down in the long run.
Someone asked me who my audience is for my web site and my blog, and I answered that I can only guess that it’s very mixed. I have received alot of very positive (and highly appreciated!) feedback over the years from a wide variety of people, men and women, young and old, straight and gay. I guess I’m trying to reach out to the prudish, like I was; people whose sexuality is inhibited, and perhaps feels lacking or stunted, to let them know that there is much yet to explore and it’s all okay! But I must admit that I also think of the guy who’s jerking off in front of the computer while his wife or girlfriend sleeps, or whose loneliness can no longer be appeased by a real person. That’s why it’s okay with me if this site finds itself mixed in with pornography sites… it’s like putting a crisp fresh leaf of lettuce in with the hamburger, or lighting a candle to offer a glimmer of hope in a very dark place.
If you never stop eating junk food, you can’t really taste the healthy food or feel it’s calming effect on your body. If you never stop feeding your mind with cheap, meaningless sexual images, how will you actually feel the tenderness of a truly loving caress when it comes your way? Or how will you find the state of mind in which to offer such a caress, if all you have seen goes straight to the slamming? Loving sex, like healthy food, is a nourishing, fulfilling and extremely satisfying aspect of being fragile and human. Like good health, loving relationships are built one thought, one look, one word, one kiss at a time… and life is so short… shouldn’t we savour every single bite?
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